


I'd Like That A Lot

by Castiel_in_Drag



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Flirting, Boys In Love, Child Castiel, Child Dean, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, No Smut, POV Castiel, Pining Castiel, Unrequited Love, at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 02:42:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11750394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiel_in_Drag/pseuds/Castiel_in_Drag
Summary: Castiel and Dean's slow burn romance from children to adults.





	I'd Like That A Lot

**Author's Note:**

> So it's like four am where I live and I'm fairly sleep deprived so I can't guarantee how coherent or well written this will be but I'll probably look over it at some point and maybe rewrite or just tweak it a little but for now enjoy!

Castiel Novak is eight and Dean Winchester is seven when they meet for the first time ever.  New to town, Naomi Novak worked tirelessly to establish herself as a realtor and so it had fallen to Michael as the eldest to tame the remaining members of the Novak clan.  Michael ran the house like an army barracks.  Like any good leader, he ensured they were ready for the day like soldiers ready for battle, armed with pack lunches made the night before and matching stationary bought in bulk.  He organised trips to buy clothes where their dull black, greys, and blues made passable uniforms.  He even marched them to and fro school as a unified cohort. 

 

On the weekend before school started back in September though, Michael ushered the Novak platoon to the park in the centre of town and released them onto the mostly empty play area.  Lucifer sat at his twin’s side as Michael’s right hand and helped keep watch of their younger siblings.  Next in line of ages, Anna decided today was the day was mastered the art of the climbing frame while the second to youngest, Gabriel immediately called monopoly on the bright yellow slide.  However the youngest Novak didn’t want to do any of that.  Young Castiel wanted to swing but two boys had already claimed the only two available. 

 

Castiel stood close by, twisting his hands anxiously.  He really wanted to go on the swings but he was afraid to approach them.  Castiel had never had an easy time at making friends.  His wide vocabulary, his formal speech patterns, his innate awkwardness, his clothes were all things he was regularly teased about.  It led to his shunning from his old school and he became a verifiable outcast.  He knew that he could have gotten one of his older brothers but he didn’t really want to.  Who knew what Lucifer would do, at sixteen Lucifer was already branded as a loose cannon, a rebel.  And Michael would just sigh tiredly, making Castiel feel guilty for asking. 

 

“Hey!” Castiel’s head whipped in the direction of the voice.  “Do you want a go?”

 

One of the boys was waving at him.  Castiel froze, unsure of what to do.  Was he even speaking to him?  Castiel swallowed nervously and wandered over.  Up close he could see that one of the boys was his age while the other was much younger.  The older on, who had called him over, got up off his swing and offered to Castiel.  Very deliberately Castiel sat down and scuffed his shoes on the worn asphalt directly below the swing.  He was sure this was a trick.  The boy would push him off and laugh at Castiel’s stupidity for being too trusting.  It wouldn’t have been the first time.

 

He flinched as the older boy moved behind but just watched as he went behind the younger boy and shoved him forward.  Castiel gasped but the little boy just giggled as the swing swung further than he had been able to push himself.  The older boy pushed the boy on the swing a few more times before turning to Castiel.

 

“Don’t you want to swing?  Do you want me to push you too?” he asked curiously.

 

Castiel, too enraptured by the sheer amount of freckles on the boy’s face; not too mention those _green_ eyes.  They were the colour of the sugared ring-shape jellies Gabriel always snuck Castiel, even when Michael said he had had enough sugar.  Or the colour of the dewy grass in the morning.  Or the colour of his favourite toy squid plushie that he always cuddled with before bed.  Or the colour of-

 

“Hey, are you okay?” the boy asked, stepping closer.  “I don’t have to push you, if you don’t want me to.”

 

Castiel blushed furiously and shook his head sharply.  His mother always reprimanded him for having his head in the clouds while people were talking to him.  She said it was rude and he didn’t want to be rude to the boy that had been so nice to him already.  “Uh, no, I’d like that a lot.”

 

Suddenly the concerned melted off the boy’s face and a wide grin erupted on his face like the clouds parting to reveal the sun.  Castiel smiled back timidly and offered his hand.  Michael said that was the best way to make friends and Castiel desperately wanted to be friends with this boy. 

 

The boy looked at his hand uncertainly but shook it all the same after only a moment’s hesitation.  Castiel took a deep breath and began his practiced introduction.  “My name is Castiel Novak.  I just moved here with my family.  There are six of us.  I’m starting Westborough primary school next week.  I like to read and play outside.  It’s nice to meet you.”

 

The boy gaped at him for a moment before smiling again.  “You’re kind of weird, aren’t you?”  he said and Castiel’s heart sunk until- “But I think it’s a good weird.  I’m Dean and this is my brother, Sam.  Sam’s starting at that school too soon.  I already go there so if you want we can play during lunch if you like.”

 

Castiel’s heart was in his throat.  Never had he been so readily accepted.  Not _ever_.  Suddenly a large smile broke out on his face.  “I’d like that a lot too.”

 

“Dean!  Come on and push us then!” cried Sam suddenly, his little legs swinging hopelessly no where near the ground. 

 

Dean just laughed and Castiel’s heart soared. 

 

         

                                                                                                (^o^)                    

 

 

Castiel was fourteen when he realised he liked boys.  His friend Charlie had recently told him that she only liked girls and would never, ever kiss a boy.  Before that, Castiel hadn’t realised that that was an option.  He thought it had only been okay for boys to like girls and girls to like boys. It was like a whole new option was open to him, he didn’t know what to do with this new found freedom.  Even at that age he knew not to mention to his mother but he kind of liked that it was just his secret.

 

It was the hottest Summer ever in Lawrence and Castiel was at the local pool with his friends.  He was lying next to the pool with Charlie and Andrea, enjoying the warmth of the sun.  Well, enjoying it until something caught the corner of his eye.  He turned his head and gazed at his best friend pull himself out of the pool.  His mouth was suddenly dry and he swallowed roughly.  Dean Winchester had always been beautiful but this was on par with the male models in Gabriel’s special magazines that Castiel wasn’t supposed to look at, even though his brother always left them out.  Water clung to the tanned expanse of his friend’s toned chest.  Sunshine lit up his short sandy hair so the strands shone like gold.  He watched as his friend’s muscles shifted and flexed as Dean stretched upwards to the clear blue sky above languidly.

 

Later that night Castiel woke up drenched in sweat and parts of his body throbbing oddly.  Outside his window thunder cracked and rain pounded the glass.  The heat wave had finally broke.  However Castiel soon realised that he was drenched in sweat for a far less innocent reason.  As he tried to catch his breath and lay back down, vestiges of his dream curled around the edge of his memory tauntingly.  He found himself wondering about Dean’s warmth, Dean’s lips, Dean’s naked… 

 

Yup.  So gay.

 

 

                                                                                                (^~^)                    

 

 

Castiel was nineteen and in his final year of high school when his heart finally shattered once and for all.  Dean had come home smelling of cheap cologne.  All the girlfriends and cheap flings hadn’t broken him.  That was just Dean.  Castiel consoled himself that just because he was pinning hopelessly for his best friend, didn’t mean Dean had to remain chaste and it wasn’t like Dean bragged about all the girls he scored with.  Castiel hadn’t even known about Cassie Robinson until one month after her and Dean had gotten together.  Besides his friend was straight, right? So it wasn’t as if Castiel was being rejected per se.  He just wasn’t even on the dance card, so to speak. 

 

Or so Castiel had thought until Dean admitted he was seeing someone new.  A boy by the name Ash.  He was scared to admit it but he was bisexual.  Castiel comforted his friend and even admitted his own sexuality.  Dean smiled genuinely at that and it was like a dam broke.  He began telling Castiel about his male conquests that he had somehow managed to hide from Castiel and Castiel, smiling and laughing at all the right times, felt something inside of him shatter.

 

So it wasn’t that Castiel was a guy i.e. had a dick instead of a vagina.  It was just _him_.  Dean liked guys and girls but just not _Castiel_.  Not in the way he wanted anyway.  It felt like a slap in the face, to be honest and right then and there, Castiel vowed he would make a change.  He wasn’t going to pine hopelessly anymore.  This was his wakeup call, his one chance.  He needed to stop pretending with Dean.  He had to. 

 

 

                                                                                                (T-T)                    

 

 

Castiel was thirty when he arrived back in his home town for his high school reunion.  Freshly divorced and recently unemployed, he had nothing to show for the years he had spent away from his hometown.  Still, something drove him to suffer through invasive questions and blatant boasting form his old high school class if it offered even the slightest chance that he would see a particular _someone_. 

 

Someone who he hadn’t spoken to in years.  Someone who had been his best friend for the longest time until they had both left for colleges at opposite sides of the country and lost contact.  Both trying at first until conflicting schedules and different experiences lead to them becoming too different.  Sure Castiel knew logically it was stupid to hope that he’d be able to reconnect with his high school crush but part of him still held out hope (the same part that drove him to watch too many Lifetime movies late at night with ice cream and tissues). 

 

So here he was spending his Friday night in his old high school gym, sipping at red punch that he had managed to obtain before it had gotten spiked and dodging every conversation starter his old classmates shot at him.  Finally he managed to escape the floral and paper-chained decorated nightmare he had gotten himself in and began wandering the grounds outside. 

 

“Cas?”  A gritty familiar voice sounded behind him and Castiel spun around quickly.  Too quickly actually, as he found himself tripping over his own feet and stumbling forward.  He was bracing for impact with the hard concrete when strong arms caught him instead.  He looked up and his breath caught as the familiar face before him stared back at him, equally wide-eyed. 

 

Dean had always been incredibly pretty but now he was _beautiful_.  He had obviously out grown his baby-fat and boy-ish charm.  No, this was a man before Castiel.  With a strong jawline, a firm body and a dark brow, it was undeniably that Dean had definitely aged well.  He still had those sinfully pouty lips Castiel had had so many daydreams though and of course his eyes were still as mesmerising. 

 

Suddenly Dean chuckled, sending shivers racing down his spine.  “Ha, I always wanted to make you fall for me but I don’t think younger me meant it so literally.”

 

Castiel gaped.  Did Dean just admit what he thought he did?  No way they had both been pining hopelessly after the other one.  No, the universe wouldn’t be that cruel, right?  Suddenly Castiel realised he was still clutched in Dean’s surprisingly comforting arms.  He righted himself and stepped back immediately.  He couldn’t stop staring.  Holy shit, what was he supposed to say to that?  A small part of Castiel’s mind hissed that maybe Dean was just toying with him.  That maybe Dean had known about his feelings for him and was trying to mock him for it.  But no, Dean wasn’t that mean, right?

 

Ignorant of Castiel’s racing thoughts, Dean ran a hand through his hair nervously.  “Guess the secret’s out, huh?  I had a crush on you when we were kids, Cas and if I’m being truthful, I still do.”

 

Castiel gasped.  Holy shit, this _was_ happening.  Castiel wasn’t afraid to admit that this was exactly what he hadn’t let himself dream happening because he knew how impossible it would be but even so a small part of him had hoped.  Hoped that he could confess his feelings to Dean.  Hoped that he could sweep the older man off his feet and be brave for once.  Really he should have expected that Dena would beat him to the punch though. 

 

Misinterpreting his silence, Dean looked away and flushed furiously.  “I-I get that you probably don’t feel the same or maybe you’re already married to a great guy b-but I needed you to know that it’s always been you for me, Cas.  Everyone else were just replacements for you.”

 

“ _Divorced_!”  Castiel suddenly shouted then winced.  God, would he ever grow out of his social awkwardness?  “Uh, I mean.  I’m divorced.  Definitely wasn’t married to a great guy; caught him sleeping with my co-workers behind my back.  So, uh, not married.”

 

Dean frowned sympathetically.  “That sucks, man.  I was engaged to a woman too for a while there.  Turns out she cheated on me too, said she couldn’t trust a guy who was bisexual to not cheat on her so she did it first, she’s pregnant with his kid now.  So I can relate, man.”

 

Castiel nodded in acknowledgment then swallowed harshly.  Here was the hard part.  “IalwayslikedyoutooDean.”

 

Dean blinked.  “Um, could you repeat that?”

 

Castiel flushed brightly.  Oh fuck it all.  “It’s always been you for me too, Dean.  Since we were fourteen, I think.  I never imagined you would feel the same, if I’m honest.  I mean, I had hoped and dreamed but…”

 

Castiel trailed off hopelessly.  He fidgeted with his hands, unable to meet his best friend’s eyes. 

 

“Cas, I think I get it.  I never really believed you could return my feelings either but if you’re saying what I think you’re saying then, would you maybe considering ditching this party and grabbing dinner with me?  I really missed having my best friend around Cas and I think we’ve wasted enough time dancing around each other already, don’t you think?”

 

Castiel felt himself smiling before Dean had even stopped speaking.  “I’d like that a lot.”

 

Dean let out a relieved laugh.  “Alright then, come on, I can drive us there.  I have the perfect place in mind.”

 

Castiel nodded in agreement and shocked both of them by reaching out to twine their fingers together as Dean led them around the school and towards the car park.  He shot Dean a breath-taking grin.  “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

 

Dean smiled back and just hummed contently, the arms swinging between them.

 

“I do have one question though,” Dean spoke up, throwing a look over his shoulder.  “Have you been gargling rocks for the last ten years?  How is it possible that your voice got even _lower_?”

 

Castiel jostled him with shoulder.  “Shut up, you assbutt, you’re lucky you’re cute.”

 

“Ah, you’re still throwing that insult around, huh?”  Castiel just laughed. 

 

 

                                                                                                (^x^)                    

 

Castiel was thirty one when he married the love of his life on a small private beach.  The sun beating down hard on them and made sweat drip down the back of his light linen suit but nothing could ruin the day he finally got to kiss his husband, Mr Dean Winchester-Novak. 

 

                                                                                                (^,^)                    

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a little drabble that I found in the hidden depths of my computer memory. If you have looked at my other stories you would see that I've neglected my account for a few months now. I'm hoping publishing this will help me get back into it again. I have a ton of half-finished stories that I hope to publish soon too so hopefully!
> 
> Wish me luck :)


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